Sunday, September 20, 2015

I Believe (Part 8 in a Series): Mothers and Fathers as Equal Partners

Over the past few months, I've been writing posts based around The Family:  A Proclamation to the World.   This week marks the 20th anniversary of that document.  In honor of that anniversary, I'm going to finish my series of posts about the proclamation this week.

Today's topic explores the roles of women and men.
The proclamation states:
By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
Let me preface my remarks by saying I am not trying to open up the "Mommy Wars" with that statement.  "Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation."  I have no desire to judge the decisions that parents make regarding their families.  I know that as parents prayerfully consider their roles and responsibilities, they will be guided to make decisions that are best for their families.  

That being said, I know that I appreciate the fact that John has been the provider in our family.  I enjoy the freedom and flexibility that being a homemaker has allowed me.  While I generally do take care of the running of the home, John is definitely an active participant, too.  To me, the heart of this paragraph of the proclamation is the sentence, "In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners."  

We tend to divide domestic chores along traditional routes:  I do the laundry and John takes out the trash.  I vacuum, and John does household repairs.  However, John has washed clothes and vacuumed, and I have taken the cans to the curb and replaced toilet valves.  If one of us is super busy, stressed, or under the weather, the other one picks up the slack.  Sometimes, we'll do something that traditionally the other one does for no reason other than we want to show love.  

Neither role is more important than the other.  We are equals.  We are both happy in our responsibilities.  We are both parents.  One of our early decisions in marriage was, "Whoever smells the diaper first, changes it."  We followed the honor code, and we've both changed lots of diapers!  

What have you found that works for your family?  


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Thanks for a division of responsibilities that brings us joy.  

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4 comments:

  1. I've always enjoyed seeing how you two share the responsibilities in your home.

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  2. Since Richard and I have only been married for 10+ years our story is a bit different. For quite a few of those years we have both worked outside the house and both shared the chores. Now he works to support us and I do the majority of household tasks. It works for us and seems fair.

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    Replies
    1. Finding a mutually agreeable arrangement is so important!

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Thanks for making this a conversation. I love to hear your comments!