Thursday, October 15, 2015

Six Sentence Story: Tear

I'm joining Ivy's Six Sentence Stories again this week.  The prompt this week is "tear."

The stark white hospital walls blurred as the gurney raced down the hall to the waiting ambulance.  The emergency vehicle had been summoned to take her to another hospital, one with a level four neonatal intensive care unit.  Just before she entered the open back doors of the ambulance, a nurse appeared, tasked with preparing the pregnant woman for the imminent birth.  

"Your baby weighs about a pound, and he is about a foot long. . . ," droned the nurse, who wore a ridiculously wide smile.  

No matter what expression the nurse wore, and no matter how much the pregnant woman longed for her baby, the news was unwelcome at this stage of the pregnancy.  She redoubled her efforts to just stay calm; the tears would have to wait. 

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postscript:  The baby held on for 6 more weeks, being born only 10 weeks early.  He weighed 2 pounds, 15 ounces, and was 15 inches long.  He is now a happy, healthy young adult.  



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Thanks for medical professionals and the miracle of birth.

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26 comments:

  1. yow! (the beginning grabs you with that sense of urgency and ... makes you want to read faster to find out what happens)

    what a good Story (of only) Six Sentences!

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    1. Thanks. I was toying with the idea of trying to show the simultaneous sense of urgency and the stoppage of time, but wasn't able to convey that adequately, so I scrapped the "time stopped" aspect.

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  2. Well written, and I love the happy ending.

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    1. Thank you. The ending is definitely the best part. :-)

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  3. Your baby, Kristi? I bet time did stop.

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  4. I just don't understand the wide smile. But I'm so so glad of the ending.

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    1. I didn't either, at the time. Now I think she was probably trying to convey positive thinking, and also probably trying hard to keep herself from crying. The odds were certainly not in our favor at that gestational age.

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  5. Wow! It's amazing the strength that can be commanded in an emergency.

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    1. It took me a while to process everything after the fact.

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  6. Great story!! And thanks for the epilogue!!! I eould have been flipped out not knowing!

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    1. I figured it was OK to cheat a little and add an epilogue (that's the word I was looking for!) to the 6 sentences.

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  7. Great story!! And thanks for the epilogue!!! I eould have been flipped out not knowing!

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  8. Great story! It's such an emotional experience and I am so happy for the happy ending!

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  9. Great story! It's such an emotional experience and I am so happy for the happy ending!

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  10. The body takes over and tries to shut out emotion which my hinder things as it tackles the task in hand. What a great story this is.

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    1. Eventually, though, the emotions needed to be dealt with.

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  11. You describe the scene so vividly Kristi. I can't even imagine what you were feeling.
    I'm so relieved this story had/has a happy ending!

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  12. Just one of many hurdles in your life, Thankful Me.

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    1. I dare say many have had more hurdles than I have. :-)

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  13. What a great (true) story and what a perfect ending!

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    1. He certainly put us on a roller-coaster ride in his early years, but everything worked out in the end!

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Thanks for making this a conversation. I love to hear your comments!